wow~it is 2012!

i got a lot of wishes in this new year!
i wanna put efforts on my studying
i wanna get flying color results
i wanna buy a guitar
i wanna learn how to play piano
i wanna throw all those bad things away
i wanna make sure i live my happy life
i wanna keep smiling
and i want to change my bf? 
aiyo~just kidding...not so easy you know!


i hope the person who i love stay happy and healthy
and the people who love me, please~tell me ok? LOL


2012 should be a very great year
don't simply give up when you face a frustration
don't easily look down on yourself because you are the precious one
don't rashly forget your purpose that you pursuing for so long time
this is your life
and it is your right to plan what you gonna do 
and what you wish to be in your whole life
when you fall down 
there are no use to think about your fault 
please appreciate what you have now
and you will feel that you are the lucky one to own all of this...


HAPPY NEW YEAR~!!!
i love you all...

love is blank

maybe sometime i just need someone to stand by my side
it's harsh to stay alone
it's tough to stay strong
no matter who you are
i just wanna feel that you care about me


maybe sometime i just feel weak and i need a shoulder to cry on
then you are not around
i know you are not around
no matter who you are
i just want you to said you love me


i need you with me
at every moment i fall down

u r the Angel in my heart

2011 is the most capricious year for me
there were many things happened within this year
some make me felt pleasantly surprise
some really pull me down
some let me learnt a lot
some make me felt hesitate
i hate those feeling indeed
but i still have to say "THANK YOU" to 2011
"you" let me learn a lesson
nope
actually i learnt so many lesson
i should appreciate what i have now
i should enjoy my life
i should help people who need support


honestly, it is a tough year
i received the most terrible result i ever have
i'm seeing the scholarships pass off just in a trice
then i accept the news about my primary school classmate's wedding 
she is just 18 years old and now she is getting marry
and she is pregnant, she will get her first child born just one month after her wedding
it is definitely a good news!
she will begin to live a brand new life with her husband and her coming-son
and she is the first person who married in our class
we all feel happy for her


but 2 months later
my cousin, erm...i prefer to call her "friend", had a serious disease
it will leave sequela to her whole life
all of us don't expect that she will get sick
we feel sorry to see her ravaged by the illness
but we feel rejoice that she is getting well from sick now


then i sucess to transfer to Sam Tet
i don't even imagine that one day i will get in this school
though it is very exciting in the beginning cause this is one of the most excellent school in our state
but later on i can feel the pressure gradually increasing  
my year end result...still suck


and in this December
we lost our friend
every thing came so fast and gone rapidly
we don't even know before that she got cancer
i think she also don't realize that she will leave us in this way
it is sad
i can't accept that she had gone
i can't believe that we are not beside her when she faced her most difficult time
we are sorry, friend
you are the Angel in my heart 
and you always are
i'm not sure you believe or not
we always treat you like a friend
we know each other since we are in the primary school
we spent 10 years time in the same class until we graduated
and i thought we will be the friend of each other forever
however, we missed each other
hope that we will not missed again next time
R.I.P


i had went though those laborious moment
every thing will getting well soon
2012 is just around the corner
it will be a sweet year
i hope that everyone around me stay well
god bless me & you

make study fun

"how about your study?"
i wish to said "quite good!" actually
but i'm ashamed with myself
it is not good in fact
the negative emotion spread all around me
i'm studying, as i always do
however the inputs is not equally same with the outputs
it is extremely bad
i don't know why i need to study
and how can those knowledge and certificate help me
i don't know what i am doing
should i take a break from all of this?
start from when i called "study" as "responsibility"?
i remember that studying is one of the most happy thing for me when i'm a little child
ouch...what to do?
people always change their attitude towards some things when they are growing up
everything seems so complicated and troublesome when we turn to become adult
i just want to say sorry
i want to apologize to myself, to whatever things happened in this year
i always beg to have one more chance after i make mistake
it is not a good habit, of cause i know
next year, i will be the better man
no...start from now, i will be the better me
enjoy every moment to live with your family, friends and the person you love
study, study, and study
study is the only thing that i can do now
to make your dream come true, "study" does!

happy holiday

it's November
i have no time to waste
"if you are determined, then you able to make it"
someone told me in this way
i know i should try it harder
failure not means you failed in everything 
but it give you another chance to be success
because successful always come behind failure
i can do it i can do it i can do it
every day i tell myself
yeow yi juen
stop look back and just keep going
you will have your dream come true
put effort on what you should do
dont waste your time on those nonsense that not giving you any benefits
no more emo please
you should enjoy your sweet 18 life
next year will be a very tough year
god will always be my side
i believe that she will help me in every single thing
god bless me

shut up

i know why i'm unhappy
i feel lonely and no ones know me well
i feel depressed and no ones discover it
i feel hopeless and no ones come to me
cause i'm not doing something that i like
but other people thought i should do in this way
it's not what i want but it's what other people want me to do
i hope one day i will be somebody who i am
and do something that i wish to do
i dont need to care about what other people said 
cause what they expected from me is meaningless
i just want to be myself
i'm no need to be the number one
i just want to be happy

i hate my life

i feel unwell
i'm not ok
i wanna sleep
till the world end
i don't wish to wake up anymore


i'm falling in depressed
everything in my life turn blue
everything seen like meaningless for me
i'm crying helpless like a child
i hate all of this


i wanna leave to somewhere alone
i can do anything that i like at there
why i always trouble by the emotional problem
i should live a happy life
but nothing in the world make me feel i'm precious


i have family
i have friends
i have someone who love me deeply
i have someone who care about me
but i feel lonely and no one actually understand me


i will be ok
every time i tell myself 
but it's not help
i still feel hurt
like i'm no one

yes l like u boy

sometime i feels nervous
sometime i feels fucking surprise
sometime i'm shy with intense heartbeat
sometime i'm in a daze
sometime i lost my concentration


it's just because of you
when you are shining under the diamonds sparkling sunlight
when you walk through the silence long aisle
when you are playing slapstick with the guys
when you say hello with a politely smiling
when you do anything in front of me


yes
i do like you boy

i am the beautiful me

i dont want to be somebody else
i just want to be the real me
i am obstinate
i am sentimental
i am bad temper
i am mighty
but when you look on the other hand
i am familiar
i am helpful
i am tender
i'm not assertive
how could you hate somebody without any reason?
your words are extremely hurt
you let me down like hell
i am the super fragile me
you defeat me effortlessly
they said i am truly wrong
my self-abased knock me down
where is me now?
i'm not exactly know
yes  i hate you
just like the way you are
yes  i hate myself
just like the way you are

i write it by my feelings

i'm always bother by depression 
but nobody know it instead
i'm not gonna to tell any
it's just a kind of individual feeling
sometimes i should learn how to shout it out
unfortunately there are no space for me to keep my uneasiness
just let go   just let it go
people are always confine by desire
we should live a simpler life
and open your mind
your stories are not suppose to end here
there is just a milestone for success
keep on going   keep on looking for the truth
you will find it's extremely beautiful
we are happy family
in this big big lovely world

我们的心胸其实无比宽阔

不要问别人为什么抛弃你
如果你值得被珍惜
你自然会得到关怀


你问我们为什么会这样
但你可曾问自己到底做错了什么
也许你真的没有错
只是我们的性格不和
有时候友情和爱情挺相似的
若真的处不来
继续勉强也没用
你没有必要让大家知道我们的离开
这样只会让你自己难看  因为有问题的其实是你


我们可以容忍的事情已经到了极限
一开始我并不觉得那些问题有多复杂
我只是单纯以为大家的生长环境不一样
或我们的背景和习惯相差太大
但慢慢地我们都发现其实没有那么简单
那是性格的问题
我们无法忍耐和一个被宠坏的小孩住在一起
就像你无法接受我们要求你一起分担工作一样


我们可以了解你有多想和家人待在一起
我们何尝不是呢
只是我们清楚明白自己的目标
为什么我们要来到这里？
因为我们想追求更好的  我们想要成功
但你依赖性太强了
即使我们认识了很久  对彼此非常熟悉
但至少的尊重和礼貌还是要有的
那是待人处事的道理
你不可能任何事情都期待我们帮你做好
现在的你已经离开家
很多事情必须学习如何去应对
但你连学习的机会都无视掉
若你真心要学我们可以帮你
可是你一直以为你不需要这些知识
就算你的学术成绩标青  课外活动拿满分
那又怎样？
你无法融入人群  你不能体谅别人
即使让你站在顶峰  你的自以为是会让你跌入谷底
我们并不是在妒嫉  也没有吓唬你
我们知道这些事情那是因为我们曾经亲身经历过


是的  你让我们看见不一样的你
你以前所说的一切其实只是谎言
没错  我们真的被你骗了
过去的我们单纯以为这个世界是美好的
其实你很自私  你不曾为别人着想
其实你很千金  而我们并不是你的菲佣
其实你很好胜  你从来不肯承认你的错误
其实你是双面人  你的虚伪我们都看在眼里
其实你很小气  你无法接受我们的任何指责
其实你妒嫉心很重  我妈打电话给我有让你这么不爽么
其实你什么都不会做  但你却不愿意学习
其实你不适合这个社会  你还是回家依靠你的家人吧
其实你有的  我们都有  甚至比你更多
有时候要真正认识一个人  时间其实一点效用都没有
当你和这个人住在一个屋檐下
你才会发现他的真性情
也许你也会发现我们有很多地方让你看不顺眼
但这是正常的好么
有谁是完美的呢  大家都有缺点不是么
我们可以互相体谅  偶尔适当的指责
而不是一味要求别人做到像你想象中的那样好


当你来到一个新环境时
要不锋芒毕露  大干一场
要不自甘堕落  一无所有
你可以继续自欺欺人地生活下去
但你的结局我们拭目以待
通常那些自作聪明的独行侠很少能有所成就
你必须改变
这是我们给你的良心建议
因为除了你那聪明的脑袋  你一无所有
什么？  你还有你的家人？
不要傻了  成功与否他们帮不了你
你不能期待他们能给你什么
而是你可以给他们什么


还有那些不明就里杀出来的滋事者
拜托看事情要看两面
你没有资格说些什么  因为你不是当事人
你并不知道事实的情况
若只因为我们是比较强势的一方所以就判定是我们的错
那你实在太肤浅了
我们受了多少委屈你知道么
我们哑忍了多久你又知道么
我们可以了解你是出于好心
就像当初你和我说的一样
但请不要再这样了
你那些所谓的“以和为贵”在这里用不着
至少我们没有撕破脸
因为没有这样的必要
我们可以原谅  但并不代表我们可以接受

那些毕业后的事儿

人生的路其实很短
一路上的分岔路口却多不胜数
每个路口都是一次抉择
每次抉择都是一番痛苦
朋友   你到底有多痛苦呢
那是因为你还没看透
那些抉择和痛苦其实是一个机会
让你成功   或者失败
请你咬紧牙关熬过去
因为你有成功的资格
只是你也刚好拥有失败的条件


那些所谓的解脱其实只是现实生活的枷锁
让你每天活在幻想中
其实你不曾真正逃脱过那些不安与彷徨
哪怕有一天你清醒过来
时间已经悄悄溜走了
那些机会已经离你远去


回来吧
这里有你的家
这里有你的朋友
这里有你的回忆
你一直留恋的那个她   曾经在这里给你美好的过去
你可以继续怀念那些过往
但你不能一直沉沦


上天不会待薄你的
因为每个人类都是他的孩子
改变你现在那些执著的想法   重新出发
你值得拥有更好的不是么


想放弃自己时请想一想你的父母
是他们给了你生命
你有资格决定你的人生
但最终你必须做的就是回报他们让你来到这个世界上的恩惠


我们在看着你
我们在想念以前那个你
我们在期待你的重生
朋友   请到此为止吧
下一个她也许才是对的人


这个世界没有放不下的事
没有放不下的人
只有放不下的你自己

tomorrow is a new day

what a beautiful weekends~and i got nothing to do except keeps bothering by the annoying homework, and housework...
i had missed so many chemistry chapter, and also biologi, and...almost all the subjects are waiting for me to catch it up...oh gosh! why my biologi teacher speak so boring huh?every period of biologi i'll fall asleep...lol
by the way, it's better than no teacher come in the class, or the teacher come in without teaching anything, i should owe about Mr. Chong to come in and talk talk talk so boring actually...
okay, next week me and ah wan will move to another house, how pity we are to stay here and do whatever that practically we no need to do
my mom had found me a house which is nearer to my school~GOOD! we no need to rush at morning every day, it's really tiring you know!
in fact i'm not willing to talk something bad here, and i also got no much time to gossip about the others
so just let it go...GOD will know what you should get and what you should lost, yes~god know all about it
tomorrow is a new day~always remember it and live a smiling life :)

deep friend? close friend?

quite tired after one week time i stay at ipoh
i'm not seriously homesick cause i know what i need and what my family expected from me
there are no doubt i should strive for my studying
but please let my algetic life end as soon as possible
we are unable to live a suffer wrong life
please dont misunderstanding me
i'm not the kind of person who like to say bad things about others
but sometimes when it had exceeded your limit then you'll feel uncomfortable to continue it
we should be considerate to others not just to your family only
cause your family cant accompany u all the time till the moment of your life end but the social does
you have to learn how to be smooth and slick
cause the world have its way to run and what you can do is just follow the rules
you cant expected that everyone can obey your words or do whatever you instructed
after some times we will know it
there are no deep friends but just true friends
you will find it when you really get close to somebody


actually i should tell about what i had experienced in my new school
but seen i have no time...so how about one more late post next week?? :)
miss all my dear friends~~can i meet you all tomorrow?
got so many things to talk with you guys~honestly

welcome to sam tet

my application to transfer school finally success in this friday
i wanna said thank you to them who had helped me a lot
and those who are very selfish one you will get your consequences very soon
what a rude man you are...no~for me you are just a childish boy
have a happy life in sam tet
and live a study-hard-and-stress life when i go there
oh my god, i'm gonna catch up what i had missed in past few weeks 
sys...i wont say good bye to u
cause i hope we wont meet anymore
ok, start to work hard and hard and hard!

SYS- "the sempurna school"

what a hectic and plenitude study life
i even not find that there is one more week pass already
i'm totally fall into the heavy homework and the compact teaching syllabus
form 6 is quite tough to study, even tougher than A-level, i think...
there are so many things are waiting for me to complete them
every day i try so hard to solve all the math questions that gave by Mr. Goh
but it's very pity to say that i'm incapable to finish all of it
plus there are many other works for me to complete include PA, chemistry and also biologi
i hope that there are 48 hours each day for me to make all my work well done
i have no time to relax myself
i'm just keep studying, writing, attending my tutorial class after school, rush for the bus and tidying myself to face the challenging every day
ok...the problem of transfer school is still bothering me
i'm wondering that if i dont get the permission to go to ACS i'll apply to Sam Tet
even i know that there are bigger competition in Sam Tet but admittedly it's one of the top school that teach science stream very well in Perak
they have better facilities(especially library), excellent teachers(only limited for the first class) and good learning environment
in fact it's better than i stay in SYS- "the sempurna school"...LOL
and i can study with my dear friends who had successfully transfer to Sam Tet 2 weeks ago
it's better than i stay alone in ACS
by the way, if i really get the transfer to ACS i'll go there by myself
it's ok...but the problem of transport is quite annoying
i'm gonna memorize the bus schedule of each day so i wont miss it
but i'm worry about there are no bus in service at the time i need it 
it's frequently happened in the place which i stay now


SYS is not bad...but it still have a very far distance to become good, or even excellent
it need some transformation honestly
but i really like Mr. Chong
he make me feels comfortable to stay in class and study
and he do a job to let us study biologi in an easy way
although he is always act cool and i dont even see his smile face since we had met him so many times after school open, but i do like him very much
he is a good teacher, indeed

busy faint

short post here...just want to let everyone know that i'm still alive


hmmm...this whole week was kinda busy and rush
exhausted...till i can sleeps soundly every night~no more insomnia in my life!
i'm quite enjoy my busy days actually cause i'm doing something meaningful
yea, i'm studying and prepares myself to enter university after my stpm
but i'm still willing to transfer school to acs
even though i'm start to adapt myself in sys but i think maybe there are somewhere more suitable for me
and more challenging too~
think out of the box and do something that can shake the world
or maybe u can just aspire to shake your country only


see ya~ ~:)

love xueji 99

the camp ended yesterday

although there're not every things go through very smooth

but they had strived for it

especially panda, vivian and li shing

i saw them very busy throughout the camp

they offer help voluntary and give consulting to the junior

and they have to take the pressure from senior too

but i think they enjoy themselves in the whole process of preparation

cause we love xueji 99~~XD

unfortunately i'm damn sick after back from the camp

i have a cold

hey~! there're not easily to spend almost 6 hours under the hot sun u know?

help the campers to complete their task and lead them in the whole game

i'm exhausted after walk around the market and streets with them

by the way i enjoy it very much

my team members are not very close to each other in begin

and some of them also looks not keen to participate in the game

but when the game comes to the end they become more united and enthusiasm

and i saw that they're very tired too...same with me

3 days and 2 nights are a very short period of time for me

it's touch and inspire to see that they're happy in the camp

and when they leave they'll fulled of vitality

this is the main purpose of this camp

i miss all of u in the camp

though they're many bad and good things happened in this few days

but all of this will gone with the end of the camp

hope everyone will back to the daily life with a heart of smile :)

语言是用来沟通的，不是争吵

这一篇是要写来骂人的
所以得用华语（这种情况其实很少发生的）


熟悉我的人都知道我脾气很火爆
我叛逆，不服输，直话直说，偶尔正义感爆棚（你们也可以解释说是八卦）
我冷漠，不善于和人沟通，所有情绪都写在脸上
可是我很真诚，不做作，真心对身边的每一个人
但这种性格不讨喜，又容易得罪人
所以我常常担心自己会无意间触怒了别人却不自知
但是偏偏有些人就是故意到处惹是非
我这么努力控制自己的情绪
你们却肆无忌惮地到处掀起口舌之争


我真不知道身为学长的你们到底是怎么当的
你们真的可以连半点尊敬和礼貌都不给别人么
更何况你们针对的人正也是你们的学长（也可以说是学弟，我那愚蠢的同班同学啊）
毕业自同一间学校，出师自同一位老师
我们这些学弟妹在看着你们的所作所为都觉得羞耻呢
在网路上骂架真的有够蠢的
把所有你们写的那些粗俗的话曝露在全世界人的面前
我并不认为这是一种光荣的表现
把你们此生所掌握的知识通通丢掉
然后你们脑子里唯一可以吐出来的话竟然都是用来侮辱别人的
这就是骂架和辩论的分别
若你们这么爱缠着别人和你们吵
那为什么不站上台去辩论呢
好好地利用你们的口才不是更好么
但我相信即使你们站到辩论台上去你们也无法表现出什么
因为辩论是利用智慧在捍卫自己的论点
辩论员最大的武器就是情商和智商
他们可以利落地运用这两种要素去辩驳
很可惜你们所能掏出来的武器并不包括这两个
你们说了一连串没教养的话后，还要理直气壮地问候别人的老爸老妈
说道理说不过别人就搬出一大堆没营养的粗话
你们只是在让大家明白你们是多么野蛮的人
而且完全没教养素质可言


你们说的话真太让人失望了
背着吉他有错么？戴着耳机有错么？
通通都没错
他最错的就是背着吉他或戴着耳机的时候拍了照
别人会弹钢琴和吉他却惹到你们了？
真的很无语
你们以为会玩乐器的人都是自以为是又高傲的么？
你们觉得他们都很爱现，喜欢炫耀自己的才能么？
我告诉你们，当你们真的能很熟练地玩某种乐器时你绝对也会想要让全世界都知道你有多么棒
音乐不是每个人都有能力驾驭的
你们真的以为看乐谱就能演奏出一首曲子是一件轻而易举的事情么？
我们花了多少功夫去背音符，学乐理你们知道么？
我们用了多少光阴去练习弹奏你们又知道么？
当你们无所事事地在西湖边闲逛时，可能别人在默默地练习难度极高的莫扎特曲子
也许当你们在senawi花园的篮球场无聊地灌篮时，别人正因为弹奏的曲子无法跟上节拍而烦躁
又或许当你们在悠闲的星期五晚上出来喝茶时，别人在对着一大堆的乐理练习发愁
钢琴和小提琴都是世界上最难学的乐器之一
但偏偏很多人却能好好地利用这两种乐器来演奏
不是因为他们有过人的才能
而是因为他们付出了努力，他们的兴趣足以抵制所有的困难和辛苦
而且事实上玩音乐的人表演欲都比较强，你们不能说他们爱炫耀，他们只是想得到大家的认同，认同他们经过一番努力才得来的成果
就像周杰伦一样，他喜欢打篮球，他喜欢音乐，他喜欢名贵跑车
所以在他的作品里都可以找到这些东西的影子
你们可以疯狂迷恋周杰伦，喜欢甚至接受他的所有作品
但为什么偏偏要诋毁同样玩音乐的别人，现实上学音乐的人都是这样的爱现
有一部戏里的对白是这样说的：你以为自己很憎恨某个人，你讨厌他所做的一切，你看不顺眼他所有的动作，但说不定你只是在憧憬他而已...


不过我在这里真的要说一说我的同学
你真的很烂耶
你那珍贵的勇气和果断竟然用来和别人吵架
你就不能把它们用在更有用的地方么
例如当你和我们对话或讨论事情的时候
被别人骂你也是活该的啦
谁叫你也同样说出那些粗俗的话


还有还有
我要事先声明我是个超级无敌记仇的人
对！就是你了！
姓黄的，不要以为我不知道你曾经偷偷地欺负我老弟
而且还对我说了贬低我自尊的话
你粗鲁，我也不必对你有礼
但我绝对不会写出那些侮辱别人的话
不过我真的很惊讶你这么糟糕的性格和态度竟然能交上朋友
到后来我才发现你们根本就是一伙的
我和你说，不是每个人在你眼里都是低俗的
你家很有钱么？不是，和我一样普普通通
你家很有权势么？你妈只不过是家教学会主席而已
你真的很厉害么？是的，你很厉害利用言语来侮辱别人
别说那时候你说的话只是在开玩笑
那是一种逃避责任的表现
别让我遇上你，我会让你看清楚我的脸到底有多臭


还有你跟你
虽然说对你们本来就没什么期望
不过你们还真的是烂透了
是非不分原来就是你们的本性？
你们真的让我失望了


神，请原谅我今天所说过的那些无礼的话
然后请您惩罚那些无礼的人
让他们得到应有的报应

fail can lead to success

honestly i'm extremely, immensely, super duper sad when i saw the words "TIDAK DILULUSKAN" on my letter...and the next second i start to wonder what can i do...

i'm confessing that i'm not a "good student" cause my academic result was not as good as them

but everybody got their talent and feasibility to be success

perhaps i unable to gain full As' but i may able to achieve other accomplishment

God knows our best way to go but we are human being and we got no idea on it

i do hope that i can transfer to ACS before the holiday end but unfortunately my application had been rejected by jpn...so what i'm gonna to do is try to appeal in the second time

i'm so desire to study in ACS but sometime i feel worry that i cant adapt to the new environment which there're no more familiar friends around me

that means i have to take care of myself and always be careful so i won't offend other people in the new school

u know, i'm the kind of person who always act cool and hard to converse with the stranger...

i even had slight of crowd phobia when i start study in the secondary school but fortunately this symptom was just maintain for a very short period of time

in fact i'm a nervous person and always be shy in front of the crowd

luckily i have a group of good friends beside me

and i had joined the student journalists in the end year of my form 3 study life

i learnt many thing from them and start to behave naturally in the public

i feel comfortable to talk in front of everyone and learn how to express my ability to other people

but sometime i feel strained too depends on the environment

yea...the quality of environment plays an important role

if u're surrounded by the positive and active people u'll turn to be enthusiasm over time

i believe that there're many such kind of person in ACS so i'm willing to become a member of them

although i keep convince myself that i'll be able to "survive" in ACS

but i'm still worry about it all the time

God bless me

pls let me go to my dream school soon

this time i'll strive to be excellent

i can do it

hmmm...>>>holiday mode on<<<
i'm always convince myself that study is a very fun thing to do
and i keep hypnotise myself to move on with that
i know i have to be more confidence with myself
no lost no gain, no failure no success...
i knew it a long time ago and everyone know it too
but the problem is how we go on with this manner??
it's totally a different thing between planning and execution
i hope i can be more courageous and decisive when doing anything


i always admired them who can completed the work by their own without any obvious defect
and they are so confidence to themselves but not arrogant
i wish to be this kind of person
they able to produce excellent work and integrate into the community leisurely 
maybe it's a easy thing for me to play fun and tell jokes with my friends
but it's really hard for me to talk pleasure with the stranger or a just-know person


a brand new life in Form 6
i have to change myself to become a person who have competitive ability 
this is the basic condition to success
i need much audacity 
accept the defeat and make some changes
i'm gonna drill myself to become stronger and more firm 
whatever challenge and frustration for me are just an ordeal
an ordeal to gain my achievement 
and make my dreams come true

i love bad guy

it's a very short post
i just want to throw out all my feelings right now
ur attitude really make me felt speechless
how i talk kindly to u?
dont u ever try to guess what i'm thinking about
i'm really sick now
i want to stay at home
i want to study
can u understand what i need now?
u r a good man
but sorry, i love bad guy...

peace pls

i'm super duper bridle right now
sometime i think i need to be alone
no matter who u r or what emergency incident happened
no ones can force me to do something
i love to be alone n i enjoy it as well
why u r keep forcing me?
i'm sure that i had clearly conveyed to u what my feelings n thought
in fact i hate the way u talk to me
u r so rude n impatient every time we talking about this issue
if so i think we rather don't have a meet
i can just keep ur best side n appearance in my mind
i don't want to spoil it u know
people saw u and told about that u r getting good now 
but they just judge u by ur semblance but not ur innermost being
i know they're nobody perfect in the world including me
but i wish to be a good man 
i try to neglect all of ur deflect n bad habits
and i try my best to make every effort on accommodate u
same with what u had done for me
unfortunately all my intension r not very effective
so how? i got no idea what the problem is every time we argue in this way
i like to be free
there're much more freedom here without u
i'm sorry to say that
but i'm this kind of person
i'm not selfish but i'm just have my own belief
u don't need to follow all my ideas but u should respect it
just like the way i respect u in this long time

live a happy life

freakin busy and exhausted in these 2 weeks since the class had started
i'm trying to convince myself that studying is a very fun and interesting thing to do
yeah~we should always think positive
depression is a very hard thing to solve
i saw some people who have emotional problems usually trapped themselves
they unable to walk out of the dim haze and keep wandering at the same place
what's the problem actually?
we're human being, so we'll make mistake
don't be so concentrate to the mistaken
when u are success in the future, nobody will ask u about ur past
drugs can't make u feel free and relaxes
they'll just help you to stabilize your emotion
besides, what else???
you'll just get the side effect of those fucking drugs
so what i'm gonna to say is don't leave yourself become depressed
every question have their way to solve
no matter how good or powerful you are
finally you'll reach to the side of the God
you unable to bring along whatever when u leave
pls think~~think how to live happier and meaningful
you'll find that every single thing in the world have their own beauty and merit
God love us as we love her the same...

form 6 life start

study life had started a week already

but i'm still outside the state 

holiday mood still cant off

every things seem tough and unfamiliar for me

form 6 is not as easier as u think

class will start next week

but i'm not ready yet

i'm gonna force myself to strive

what i want to do in my future is gradually clear in my mind

i know which field is suitable for me

and i discovered that what kind of job can make me feels comfortable and pleased to do it

i have a dream

as everybody does

kinda messy now

but i still have time to get myself ready for it

study hard in this one and half years

when u achieve what u has been desire for in this long time

every single of ur hardworking and sacrifice will gone away

i start to believe in this since i saw the peoples around me become success 

they are amazing 

nothings come without efforts

ya...i have a dream

will it come true?

i dont want to be good

but i want to be the best!