sorry, mom n dad

i'm ok...don't worry
i don't know why i cry like a helpless child this morning
my mind is blank when i cry...cry at school...cry in front of so many people...cry when i'm calling my mom
5A4B1C
i know it's bad...actually i don't have a high expectation to my result cause i know it won't be very good
i'm keeps telling myself when i'm walking to the hall, whatever result i will get later must receive it with a strong heart and don't spoil the other's mood...and i swear i won't cry
but i'm supremely sad when i saw C! yes,i feels disappointed...i thought at least i will get B...it's add maths
and i got B+ in BI?! double sad...
then i walk out of the hall alone...looking for my handphone to make a call for my mom...
when i heard my mom's voice from the phone, i became collapse...i keeps crying and crying
i felt ashamed in front of my parents, i felt ashamed to myself...i'm not study well in these 2 years, it's true!
i got so many excuse for myself, i felt sad not because of i got bad result but i felt sorry to my mom and dad...
in beginning my mom acts so angry, but i think she had scared by me cause this is the first time i cried so out of control in front of her...she said it's ok, 5As also ok...i felt like i'm so useless
after that i try to call my dad but it's unavailable for now...maybe my mom is calling him,so i call hubby...
i cry again when he talk to me, my aunt also saw it...
i know i'm not lose to the result, but i had lose to my self-respect...i always want to be the winner and i'm not dare to be the loser...
my dad always said that if every person want to be the winner then who gonna be the loser??
hubby looks so nervous when he know i'm crying madly...he try to comfort me but whatever he said i can't heard clearly...i'm just keeping crying...many people is looking at me,i can feels my abjection...
my mom had called me many times, i think she's trying to give me some encouragement since this is the first time i got fail in the public examination...she said no need to worry, it's still ok, not as bad as i think,i should try to find out which way i should go through in my future...whatever my mom said to me is really touch,my tears had blurred my vision, nobody come to comfort me except yong li them...i don't know what feeling i should have in that time...i just stand alone in the corner,no ones want to look at me...i felt like i'm the one who unnecessary...
but honestly i had learnt a lesson...learn how to be strong...learn how to reflect on my mistake
it's the most important things, i guess...
when i back i call hubby again...cry again in the phone...he looks so angry with my weakness
he said i should be strong! stop crying and think about what should i do after this...
he told that his stuff said i'm great cause i got 5As in SPM...it's not easy to get A in examination...
i said i still feel sad cause my parent are disappointed to me...then he said he don't know how to comfort me
but he felt sad also cause i'm crying...he start to scold me cause i'm too fragile to face the truth
if i'm keeping moody just because i got the bad result then just come out to work, he'll get a job for me...
yes, i should be strong, i should not cry, i should not blame, i should be more hardworking...
think positive and you will get the right way to go~~
don't keeps asking why u had failed, pls ask urself what u had learnt from the failure...
thks hubby, thks my parent, thks everyone...i'll try my best next time