因为我不是最好的
所以你们并不需要我

因为我不是最好的
所以你们可以忽略我

因为我不是最好的
所以你们看不起我

因为我不是最好的
所以你们一直拒绝我

因为我不是最好的
所以我没资格做任何选择

因为我不是最好的
所以你们可以一直说我坏话

因为我不是最好的
所以我没有任何价值

因为我不是最好的
所以我让你们丢脸了

因为我不是最好的
所以我只好委曲求全

因为我不是最好的
所以你们也不想和我混在一起

因为我不是最好的
所以让你们失望了

因为我不是最好的
所以我只是个没出息的东西

真的很对不起
其实我应该事前告诉大家其实我书读得很烂
至少没有你们想象中的好
我应该先给你们做心理辅导
让你们了解我有多么的蠢

不认识你的人可能会觉得你考了5As已经很不错了
可是若是认识你的人就会觉得你考得一塌糊涂
这是我妈说的
我本身也很了解

那些每天在菜市或咖啡店里混的安娣安哥
真的很不好意思
小的真的把考试考烂了
谢谢你们一直以来这么看得起我
我没有比谁谁谁厉害
A的数量也没有比谁谁谁多
真的很对不起
为了表达我的歉意
我绝对允许你们在茶余饭后尽情地消费我
你们要说我很烂很差可以
你们想说我只顾着找男友所以才考烂的也可以
或是你们想拿我跟任何一个人比较然后说我竟然连他也比不上都可以
说我不会生气真的很难
但我自己很清楚这是我要付出的代价

我连弟弟做错了事我都不敢骂他
因为我觉得自己不够资格
我并没有很厉害
也不是一个好榜样
所以我不好说什么
我只是滚回房里大哭
因为我该死

想要打电话给阿比
可是他前几天才抱怨说他在工作不方便接电话
所以还是算了
不要烦他

我一个人在房间里发呆
希望有人看得见其实我很懦弱
但没有人听到我的声音
也没有人愿意听见我

没关系
这是我要付出的代价
我很好
会越来越好的

sorry, mom n dad

i'm ok...don't worry
i don't know why i cry like a helpless child this morning
my mind is blank when i cry...cry at school...cry in front of so many people...cry when i'm calling my mom
5A4B1C
i know it's bad...actually i don't have a high expectation to my result cause i know it won't be very good
i'm keeps telling myself when i'm walking to the hall, whatever result i will get later must receive it with a strong heart and don't spoil the other's mood...and i swear i won't cry
but i'm supremely sad when i saw C! yes,i feels disappointed...i thought at least i will get B...it's add maths
and i got B+ in BI?! double sad...
then i walk out of the hall alone...looking for my handphone to make a call for my mom...
when i heard my mom's voice from the phone, i became collapse...i keeps crying and crying
i felt ashamed in front of my parents, i felt ashamed to myself...i'm not study well in these 2 years, it's true!
i got so many excuse for myself, i felt sad not because of i got bad result but i felt sorry to my mom and dad...
in beginning my mom acts so angry, but i think she had scared by me cause this is the first time i cried so out of control in front of her...she said it's ok, 5As also ok...i felt like i'm so useless
after that i try to call my dad but it's unavailable for now...maybe my mom is calling him,so i call hubby...
i cry again when he talk to me, my aunt also saw it...
i know i'm not lose to the result, but i had lose to my self-respect...i always want to be the winner and i'm not dare to be the loser...
my dad always said that if every person want to be the winner then who gonna be the loser??
hubby looks so nervous when he know i'm crying madly...he try to comfort me but whatever he said i can't heard clearly...i'm just keeping crying...many people is looking at me,i can feels my abjection...
my mom had called me many times, i think she's trying to give me some encouragement since this is the first time i got fail in the public examination...she said no need to worry, it's still ok, not as bad as i think,i should try to find out which way i should go through in my future...whatever my mom said to me is really touch,my tears had blurred my vision, nobody come to comfort me except yong li them...i don't know what feeling i should have in that time...i just stand alone in the corner,no ones want to look at me...i felt like i'm the one who unnecessary...
but honestly i had learnt a lesson...learn how to be strong...learn how to reflect on my mistake
it's the most important things, i guess...
when i back i call hubby again...cry again in the phone...he looks so angry with my weakness
he said i should be strong! stop crying and think about what should i do after this...
he told that his stuff said i'm great cause i got 5As in SPM...it's not easy to get A in examination...
i said i still feel sad cause my parent are disappointed to me...then he said he don't know how to comfort me
but he felt sad also cause i'm crying...he start to scold me cause i'm too fragile to face the truth
if i'm keeping moody just because i got the bad result then just come out to work, he'll get a job for me...
yes, i should be strong, i should not cry, i should not blame, i should be more hardworking...
think positive and you will get the right way to go~~
don't keeps asking why u had failed, pls ask urself what u had learnt from the failure...
thks hubby, thks my parent, thks everyone...i'll try my best next time

it's the time to make changes

i'm freaking nervous...
the spm result will be come out tomorrow
it's manipulating my future
but i'm still not yet ready for it
in fact i can get my forecast result in my mind since i do understand my own strength
i hope everything will be better than what i expect for
i know my parent have a superb high expectation to me
but they don't know how tough my study is
actually the lessons are not overly hard as we think cause many students able to go through
it's depend on your efforts and attitude...indeed
i do regret now, seriously...
i should strive more and more before i attend the examination
i got many missing from my schoolwork and it's a pity in my life
hubby had gave me much of consolation and countenance as well
but i still feel disturbed and anxiety as long as i think about the publication of the result tomorrow
god bless me...please let my plan going well and smooth
i will study well and serious if i got a chance to make changes to myself

wedding party

the wedding party is going smooth, everythgs looks great n perfect! :)
but v got no enough time to take photo with kuan...what a pity...she do looks good tonight! i'm so happy with her, she's the first ppl among us who get married, n she's also the first ppl who got baby!
she looks panic in the wedding party, but i really admire her coz she able to stand in front of the people since she's a unmarried mama before!
she's brave!!! because of the baby? i'm not sure...but she's a pretty mama! it's true!every mama looks pretty when they got baby!
but v dont talk too much with her last night coz the time gone imminent...they just spent one an hour to ended the party!ouchhh~~v don't eat too much coz it's really hectic lat night! the guys (the friends of kuan's husband) rush to our girls'seat jst because they had been tease by the girls in morning when they come to take the bride...so they want to take revenge now...so they continue force us to finish the alcohol drinks.= ='''
but i have to thanks kam yan! she told them that v 3 cant take alcohol, so finally v escape from it. in addition v r not tha girls gang who tease them before~~
but i have to said that i got a little bit regret coz i dont come to her house at morning...her husband's friends looks handsome~~haha
the party ended at 9:30pm, it's too early so v dont want to back coz there's no much chance to go out at night like today~~
wai pin had leave with the guys...wow~~i think it's dangerous to leave with the guy who u dont really know him...even though the guys looks amazing! but v should b more rasional.

so hui xin called eric comes to join us...ok~~it's damn spoil my mood!!! in tat moment i do hate tis stingy guy! even though i had know him 5 yrs ago but i really cant accept his temper! how could a guy treat his gf like this?! oh gosh~! u r so lousy!!! u know what he talks to me? i hate u!!! even though my hubby or my family also didn't talk so rude with me! heng!
if ur gf is calling u to come join her for yumcha u must b very happy to come right? but y he act like his gf had make a large mistake?! i cant understand...n mybe he think tat's my idea so he talk those fucking words to me...i dont care~~u r not my bf so i no need to worry...but how about hui xin?? u r always bully her!!!
u r bad!!! now i jst realized that my hubby is the most perfect for me! he wont treat me like that!
n u r emotional too! when he reach to fetch us at KFC, u know what the first sentence comes from his mouth when v get in car?! v r 3 girls there include his gf alone on the street n it's at night, but he acts like it's nothings to him n he said v just bring trouble to him...OH MY GOD! r u a guy?! if u r then u should b vry worry about ur gf when u know she's at outside to waiting for u to comes right?
then the second sentence he said is y v dont want to back home with the auntie who fetch us come...i almost be fainted...i'm sure u r not a good guy, i'm very sure!!!
i can understand u got problem when u're working, n u're jst bck from work so mybe u got tired alrdy... but u should not acting like this!
ok...then v went to eat at Gold Label...within 10 minutes he turned to become another person! he smile n talk so well with us...his face expression had changed n he dont blame us anymore...WTF!!!
how emotional u r! shit!!!
i hate this kind of person actually even though i can treat him like a friend but i cant accept his way to treat the girls especially his gf. if he gonna break up with hui xin then he'll b very hard to find a new one who can b so tolerate with his temper.

n my bro>>>ah yip also vry nice especially to the girls. i like the guys who able to treat girls vry well. i can understand y he cant come to join us last night, it's ok...at least he dont b rude with me like what eric do!

hubby...u r good! u r really really good to me! i must show them how u treat me n of coz the other girls! u r so gentlemen! no cheat! u r the best one for me! :) big smile for u~~

it's suck!!!

ok~~i'm really try vry hard to calm down my collapse emosion...but it's no use!
i try to b understanding but what i get now is "sory, v got no tansport..."again?!!!


..........pls let me alone for 1 minute to b calm..........


shit!!! y so mny excuses?! i got no idea with those fuckin' affair...
last night, i'm ready to go out at 7pm. i changed my cloth, i got my beg, i set my hair, but suddenly they said v r not going out tonight coz the driver dont want to drive back home alone at night...
it's ok...i can understand that a girl who drive by herself at night is a vry dangerous thgs.
i admitted that i got a little bit angry coz she dont tell the truth at begining. i had asked her opinion about v want to go out or not coz v dont get car from the boys...she said she can drive but she dont tell that she cant drive alone at night! but since it had happened alrdy so i should jst let go...
then xin ask me want go to kuan's house or not coz she'll get married tomorrow, v should visit her first or mybe chat for awhile...so i said ok, i'll go...
i wait for her call to tell what the time v go but later she sent me a message, she said mun dont want to go so v jst cancel the plan...
oh my god...what's happening now? but i still try to understand...mybe it's raining outside coz they dont want to go out...or mybe it's at night so they think the girls not should go out coz it's dangerous...or mybe mun jst back from KL so she want to accompany her parents at home so she dont want to go out...or mybe she felt tired coz she works hard every day n it's last for 1 month long, so she need some rest at home...i got mny "mybe" in my mind so i wont get angry for that...but honestly it totally spoil my mood...
then today v had planned to attend kuan's wedding party but suddenly they said v mybe will absent coz v got no transport! OH MY GOD again...
damn!!! i had picked the dress, i got everythgs ready for the party then u said v wont go for it?!
ok...i should b understanding...yes...i have to b understanding...
but who comes to understanding me?! jst because i havn't get my license n i dont have a car?! fuck!!!
i'm moody now...u know how sad i am? sigh*

this is my meaningless life

see mun, mun yee n xiao chui had back from KL 2 days ago, there had been a vry long time v didn't meet after they got a job in Sushi Zanmai. i'm freaking excited when i saw them last night! :)

mun yee n xiao chui~u two no need to keep fit anymore la! y become more slim alrdy after one month i didn't c u two?!

see mun~pls find doctor to check ur backbone la~honestly it's not looks good, u should get some treatment before the conditon getting worse.

i'm vry vry vry happy to know that see mun got a new boyfriend alrdy!!!

although ah wan thought she should have a comprehensive consideration before she falls in love again coz she always get the wrong person...n finally hurt herself...

but i can c her changes after she work at KL, she became mature n calm when i saw her last night...it's a good start! if she think she had found her "Mr Right" then i will b vry glad! hope god bless them~~

v meet ah chai last night in the tuisyen centre that v used to stay before.

they said that his stubble make him become mature n cool, but i'm not think so...= =''

then yee han comes! she's getting prettier! i'm not lie!! n she became slim n slim~she really looks good now~

v decide to yhumcha in bandar baru kampar, then the boys will join us later.

ah chai fetch all the girls include me, ah wan, kah foon, see mun, hui xin, yee han, mun yee n xiao chui.

ah yip n eric fetch the boys, there r fu chun, fang lit, kah fai, ah lun, ah thung. (if i'm not wrong coz i dont c jason n chen hong...) n yi khey.

v reach Gold Label at kampar, there r not mny ppl. tis is the first time i come to tis cafe but i luv it vry much!

the decorating is good n attracting! there r full of retro style! really interesting!

i'm damn happy when i saw yi khey!!! i miss her vry much! i thought i had lose contact with her coz she didn't reply my message n she's not ever call me also. i'm worry about her~~

but i'm glad to heard she's in well now n she also got a vry good job in Genting casino.

she told me the scary thgs that happened to her at Genting Highland n also her working experience.

but honestly all those interesting story about their working life had totally spoil my mood...

i know that i not should act like such way but i feel envy n jealous to them...it shows a vry huge disparity betwen us...i'm sad ;(

pls just take a look at me, i do nothgs at home!!! i live such like a fool without any advancement but my weight is getting increase nonstop...

how can i spent the precious time so meaningless in past 3 months with jst only eat, sleep, on9 in the whole day?!!! OH MY GOD...it's unbelieveable!

mybe they will admired our freedom life but i can tell u guys, pls dont jealous to my damn useless life! it's boring actually! everyday live like a idiot is freaking annoying...u guys r better work so busy than living without senses like me!

i know i should find a job jst like what my cousin said to me when he bck from KL in CNY, it's better than i keeping nagging about my life here, but u know...there got mny inner problem especially my parents...

so jst let it go, after the SPM result come out i hav to start planning the way to go...it;s hard to make a decision...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i'll attend the wedding party of my old classmate tomorrow. v r in the same class in primary school.

yes, she's still vry young, same age with me.

in fact i'm vry nervous coz i have to meet the other old classmate...hope everythgs going smooth.

Pangkor Trip

i'm back from P.Pangkor!!! :)

i'm not use to call it a trip but it's a damn fun experience for me n my frenz!
v settle everythgs by ourselve include the transport, tickets, resort n place that v want to visit before v go~~
although it's not too perfect bfoz of some weather problem but v still hav fun there n v had take many  photos before v leave. the sea is awesome!it's greenish blue in colour! even though i dont know how to swim but i do enjoy in the whole journey.
the banana boat is really make me surprise! this is the first time i play it so i got a little bit nervous in begin but after v had throw into the sea by the sharp turn of the boat, i got the fun way to enjoy it! :)
the food in P.Pangkor is still ok, v jst take 3 meals in 2 days at there so v had save some money~~
most of the ppl who v meet at there can speak english vry well since P.Pangkor is one of the famous island in the world, so there r mny tourist who come frm oversea. the ppl there hav to learn english so they able to serve the foreign visitors.
2 days 1 night is jst a vry short period, v back in next day.
évery thgs going smooth in the whole trip, n the most important thgs is v all got fun with a vry small amount of money only! :)

tis is my most favourite photo...i luv everythgs in tis photo include the colour of the sea n the rock!

amazing right? superb luv it! pls protect our environment so it can remain fresh n beautiful!

sky n sea always looks differennt although they're actually in the same colour~~tis is the power of natural!



Ipoh Old Town

i went to apply for my vry first international passport today

they r always crowded in the office so v out at early morning to avoid the wasting of time when waiting for the procedural of application to run coz u noe, the government stuff always be idleness n low efficiency to their wrk...LOL

but i'm lucky today coz i'm the third in the line up~spent almst one hrs then complete the application n i got my passport! :)

since v r still not have our breakfast yet so v went to ipoh old town

the white coffee there is superb famous!!! n of coz its taste vry nice~

v hav bread with half-cooked eggs n noodles~not bad~

then my mom suggest to buy the boil egg for dad (she is dmn luv it!)

but the restaurant was a little bit far...it's ok~v wlk to there...

there r mny old buildings which r historical n amazing!!!(tat's y the place there call "old town")

i like everythgs at there! the buildings, the tearooms, the shops, the road n the alley~there r freaking awesome! 

next time i'll visit there again!!! it's a must coz there r mny gourmet! i'm seriously like to eat~muahaha

the capture below r one of the most famous alley in ipoh old town>>>二奶巷

they said there r mny rich ppl hiding their mistress in tis alley a long time ago~(reaqlly??!!)

one of the interior area of the old buildings in the alley... 

i damn like the light n the interior architecture of those old buildings~

最完美的婚礼

不看到最后才能把好感觉保留下来〉〉〉林秀晶（寻找金钟旭）


看了这部电影后突然很多不同的感觉涌上来
从开场到结尾的处理手法很细腻却又不会让人感觉沉闷
对我来说时一部很不错的电影


最近真的很喜欢看电影了
感觉就像是在看着不同的故事一幕幕地上映
和电视剧比起来电影的确是比较吸引我呢
因为我这种不耐烦的性子很难聚精会神地去追完整部剧
而电影的长度对我来说就刚刚好 

近几个月怎么那么多人结婚啊？
结婚真的是个很陌生的词
有人曾经和我说享受当下就好
什么以后的路或是结婚这些麻烦事就别去想它了
可是我还是会自个儿地在想
我以后的婚礼又是怎么样的呢？
一开始会觉得既然一生人只有一次的事情当然要做到最好的啦
看着有些人很随便地就结婚了
也许太冲动，也许无可奈何，也许为势所逼
一切都准备地太仓促
尽是破漏四处
在别人的眼里也把它看成笑话


可是后来才发现结婚原来是建立在爱情之上的
偏偏爱情又是让人疯狂的东西
爱上了说什么都没有用
所以当你真正遇到了让你疯狂的人时
别说什么体面又隆重的婚礼了
那些只是一种无聊的形式
即使没有钻戒，没有证婚人，没有神父，没有酒席，没有婚纱，没有祝福
那也是一个完美的婚礼